When Listening Feels Like Work

Hi Daddy,

Today was my first day back at work physically. After a year and a half of working remotely, I’ve officially started a hybrid schedule.

I had to be in the office pretty early around 7 a.m. And after my first few meetings, I was exhausted and ready to go home. So when it was time for lunch, I headed back home, and honestly, I can’t stop thinking about how I’ll have to keep doing this. Going into the office regularly. Just being there felt physically exhausting.

But I’ve learned not to complain, and I won’t. No matter how uncomfortable it gets, I’ll remind myself that I have a job and not just any job, but one that I actually really love.

After I got back home, I decided to run some errands. Normally, when I run errands, I listen to a sermon. But today? I wasn’t interested. I tried putting one on, but I couldn’t focus or bring myself to engage with it. I’ve heard people say that when you don’t feel like praying, worshiping, or listening to Your Word, you should force yourself to do it anyway. So, I did.

If You asked me what I learned from it, though? I wouldn’t have much to say. And that’s been sitting with me. Was that my heart being hardened to Your Word? Or was I just not in the mood? But then again, should I need to be in a specific mood to listen to You? Shouldn’t that be something I always want to do? Or maybe this was one of those times when my spirit was willing, but my flesh was weak?

There are way too many questions running through my mind about it, Daddy. But one thing I know is that You’re always faithful. You always direct me, lead me, and open my mind to Your Word.

Even when I don’t feel like it, I’ll keep showing up for You, because I know You never stop showing up for me.

Love,

Your daughter.