Seventy-Seven Times

Hi Daddy,

I was on a call with a close friend today, and he was talking about forgiveness. About how my now 40-year-old friend just finally forgave someone who offended him in high school.

I’ve always been someone who thought I forgave very easily, and I truly almost always forget as well. But over the years, I’ve realized that what I thought was me forgiving was actually just me burying things so deep down that it resembled forgiveness. And unfortunately, I’ve been carrying around so much hurt and pain.

I only realized that very recently because I’ve had a specific situation run through my mind morning, afternoon, and night, but I never thought it had anything to do with forgiveness. I just thought, Oh, I’m hurt, but it’ll go away with time. But during the conversation with my friend today, he said, “Forgive because you’re deeply hurt.” The forgiveness is not for them but for you. Humans will always be humans, and they’ll always disappoint you this will not be the last time it happens. So, do you just want to keep carrying the burden of pain and disappointment from people with you?

Peter once asked Jesus, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” And Jesus replied, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times” (Matthew 18:21-22, NIV). Forgiveness is unlimited. Because isn’t it ironic when I ask You for forgiveness, but I haven’t forgiven other people?

I can understand when I thought I had forgiven but actually hadn’t. But now I’m aware, so what is my excuse for not forgiving?

I think my excuse is that I truly don’t know where to start or how to forgive because I’ve genuinely never practiced it. So please, teach me to forgive. Teach me how to start, because I don’t know how—but I know I’m done carrying around this much pain.

Love,

Your daughter.