The Drive, The Album, and The Song
Hi Daddy,
On the way to Mom and Dad’s yesterday, my handsome driver and head chorister, DJ the boyfriend, was in full performance mode as always, tbh. With his very “beautiful” singing voice (my eardrums might strongly disagree), he was singing one song after another. Mid-song, he stopped and said he wanted to play me his favorite Hillsong album.
As the songs started playing, DJ, being his usual cheeky self, turned to me with each new track and asked, “Do you know this one?” I answered yes when I did, but mostly, my answer was no. While we listened, he began sharing stories about what each song meant to him, the moments they signified in his life.
And then Oceans began to play softly, the opening lyrics drifting through the speakers:
"You call me out upon the waters, The great unknown where feet may fail..."
DJ turned to me and said, “If you were to write about this song on your blog, how would you write it?”
It was such a simple question, but it somewhat caught me off guard. Oceans is one of those songs that always gets me emotional. But as DJ shared how the song touches him deeply and we talked about its meaning, I realized something. I’ve never fully immersed myself in its lyrics.
Have I truly let the words sink into my spirit? “Spirit, lead me where my trust is without borders…” I found myself reflecting on its depth. I realized how powerful the words were and how much they resonated with me, yet I hadn’t truly sat down to break them down or fully immerse myself in their essence. Such a powerful prayer, but have I lived it? Have I trusted you in the moments where the “great unknown” feels overwhelming?
I’m not sure if I have, but I want to.
Late last year, I decided to read through the entire New Testament on my own, not because I didn’t already know what was in it, but because I’d never truly read it for myself, outside of someone else’s interpretation. So you can imagine how proud I felt when I realized the song draws its inspiration from the story of Peter walking on water toward Jesus, as told in Matthew 14:22-33.
Like Peter, I hesitate a lot. In my case, though, I’m not stepping out onto water, or rather, let me be honest just “water” sounds too ordinary. I’m not stepping out in the middle of the ocean.
I often find myself caught between having so much faith, quoting Hebrews 11:1 as if I wrote it myself, and being overwhelmed with anxiety over something as small as seeing the neighbor’s cat when I go downstairs.
It’s like I know I have the potential to trust fully and step out in faith, but sometimes, the small, everyday things test my courage. It’s a reminder that faith isn’t always about the big moments but trusting in you, even in the seemingly small and fearful ones.
As someone who often seeks words of affirmation, “You’ve never failed and You won’t start now” is very reassuring to me. Because truly, when have You ever failed me? I deeply apologize for the days I’ve doubted You or tried to lean on my understanding.
Who am I truly without You? I’m nobody!
As I listen to this song over and over again, I am reminded of the beauty that You are and the constant assurance You give me—Your protection and guidance.
“When oceans rise, My soul will rest in Your embrace. For I am Yours and You are mine.”
Just like how Peter hesitated before walking on water, I find myself torn between faith and fear or, rather, anxiety, which I struggled with for most of 2024. But now I have these lyrics to pray and find comfort in.
My takeaway from this is that no matter the situation, whether it's something small, like praying not to cross paths with the cat when going downstairs, or something much bigger, my faith in God should remain unwavering. I know it's easier said than done, but the key is perseverance. My church shared something on Instagram yesterday: “Do something every day that requires faith.” I want to practice that. I’m not sure how to go about it, but I trust that You will guide me.
Love,
Your Daughter
